• I went into the bathroom a minute ago, and my makeup scared me.

• I have a pile of gravy. Call me back

• It’s not sexual. It’s a pillow.

• Next thing you know I’m on the waterbed puking in a trashbag.

• Now! With fuck-me-up technology!

• Kids, y’all been eating the fruit? It’s got liquor in it.

• “Who spilled beer?” “How did you know it was beer?” “I could feel it with my toes.”

• He’s got more mouth than a horse has ass!

• There’s a fucking fat kid in my mouth.

• Call me when you’re not fucking on mars!

• Here, put this in your ass.

• But I needed this fucking pineapple.

• You could definitely use a “fuck” here.

• Me and food have had some problems.

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